Over garlic mashed potatoes and onion rings (all homemade by my mommy, it was lunch), my mom and I cried and blew our noses, talking about some things. It's not all out there but if it were, neither of us would function, I'm sure.
Was thinking...I have a short temper with her. Maybe it's because I don't feel like she could reject me any more than she has in the past. I realize that she takes it, although she yells at me to be nicer because if I'm a pastor I can't talk like that to people (that's correct but I don't want to hear it-short temper, duh-and whether I become a pastor or not, I really shouldn't talk to people so sharply anyway), but I guess she takes it from guilt. We talked and stuff...about other things.
Anyway, realized the other day how it's seriously God's grace that my mom and I can even communicate. And I realized how I survived in Korea for 5 years without knowing Korean...my mom uses weird English, like the grammar and vocabulary is her own. And although I learned correct grammar and pronunciation, I know her language too. When I talk with her and think about it, I find I get frustrated and misunderstand her a lot. When I just take it in, I understand her completely. I'm pretty decent at guessing what people will say, so then when I don't like what I think they will say, I get annoyed and short tempered.
For example of the vocab: "niv-a-gorce"...can you guess the meaning? It's "divorce," it's just the word she uses. I guess as she learned it, that's how she understood it and that's how she's said it for more than 30 years. Cultural differences, generational differences, and language differences, yet we still communicate. I'm praying this geographical difference won't get in the way...
Well, I need to go finish packing and the garlic and onions are fighting in my tummy...who will win? I can tell you for one thing, I already lost once. Ew.
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3 comments:
yeah you are so good - so sharp at thinking ahead sometimes its scary. haha. seeing you i realised its really necessary in ministry, as a person in a position to lead and foresee things.
and then with people i guess one form of love there might be willing to hold back that decision to stick with your prediction and wait for a clear basis... to stick to it?
i admire you and your relationship with your mum... sign of maturity... i dont take enough initiatives with mine... and we're both quiet...
niv-a-gorce
oh my, i guessed it right
dude. we are different in many ways but we are a lot alike in lots of ways. i totally know what you mean about the communicatio thing with your mom. i too feel like i understand her better (and often feel the need to repent) after we are silent and away from each and not face to face.
I hope things are going well for you at home, especially with your mom.
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