the first week

How can I even begin?

The first days were rough because I kept putting my timing before God's. He's not One for instant relationships. Well, that connection is established but there has to be a building on to that and yeah, I wanted deep friendships on day one and that's not what He's about. So I struggled and fought. To add to that, I wasn't (and am not yet completely) sure who I am...Korean? American? Worker? Student? And just what am I here to do? I'm used to working and going to school on the side. I feel like I need to get a bunch of jobs yet one might be too much to handle with my load and the ways I'd like to serve. Frustrated. That's how I'd describe the first week here. I saw the cloud of my past self creeping in and I knew that submitting to it, falling back into the non-social, people hating, negative person would show I hadn't grown over those 5 years in Korea. Is that the truth?

I've put a lot of prejudices on the guys here so that's been rough since I often feel more comfortable hanging around guys. There are 3 single Korean guys here which I am grouped with in that community (more on this later) and that's awkward in itself. BUT, a couple trips to hang with the pastor's family from my college days in Springfield has allowed me to meet two guys who seem cool enough to hang out with. I'm starting to find a group of regulars to eat with, a larger group and then sitting with whoever happens to have seats open at their tables. Generally this group is a bunch of first year girls...

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I just left for a bit, hard to get this all down in one sitting. And sadly, I think I must go without any of my solid thoughts and amazing stories actually in this blog. Boo.

Let me just say that as much as it's rough dealing with culture and whatever hardships there may be, God IS here and that's enough for me right now. I just got to get past those human faults and it's not so bad.